There has been no time in history when so much information was available on our fingertips like it is now. Great for building your dream life!
But where do we start? How do we find our way in this ocean of information? Although it might look easy, anyone who has tried to do exactly that will you that it wasn’t as easy as it looked. In this article, I’ll share what I think are the 7 crucial life tips that will keep us on track. (Yes, it took a LOT of reading self-help books, articles, watching YouTube videos, courageous trials of all the tips and advices, and more than a few embarrassing mistakes to get here and tell you what works and what doesn’t!)
So here we go.
1. Be Selective of Who You Take Advice From
Today, we are flooded with information, “tips” (I noticed the irony too! Haha!), advices and whatnots from everybody on every platform on the internet. Get on YouTube and you can find primary school kids teaching you “the correct way to drink water”.
But here’s the deal. As much as they are trying to help, what works for them might not work for you. Because you, are a unique individual with unique interests, passions, strengths and weaknesses. If you are not selective of who you listen to, you might end up trying so hard to become somebody else’s ideal version that you become a just shell of who you were once.
No amount of self-improvement, and “levelling up” is worth losing yourself for.
So before you start following someone as a guru, here are a few things to look for:
- Is this advice realistic? (No, there are no magic 5 tips that will make you a millionaire overnight, or even within a month.)
- Is this person’s position in life, in regards to what they talk about, where you want to be? (If not, they might not be the right person to guide you.)
- This person’s advice seems great, and they are indeed happy! Good for them! But is their happy life at least similar to your dream life? (If not, you could follow everything they say, and still be left unsatisfied.)
- If this is a beauty/fashion guru, do they have similar features or body type as you or do they specifically give tips that suit audiences with your features and body type?
- Is this person genuine? (Super important! If not, you are wasting your time!)
If yes, wonderful! Go for it! You might have just found the holy grail of knowledge that might actually help you.
But if these conditions are not met…then you might not be listening to the right person for you.
2. Teach Yourself To Embrace Difficulties
“Hey! Aren’t we all trying to create the easiest, most comfortable lives for ourselves?!”
Sure, we are! But if there is one thing that you will never be able to avoid, it is difficulty. That’s just how life works.
Even after you earn that degree, and bag that dream job, and move into your dream apartment, guess what? There’s still going to be new difficulties and challenges tied to your new situation.
It is said that fulfillment comes from solving our problems. “Solving”, not in “eliminating”. So if you’ve got no problems, then you can’t solve anything and life would become boring, monotonous and eventually filled with disappointment.
The sooner we learn to accept these challenges as a constant part of life, the less we will feel like something is wrong and needs to be “fixed”. And in turn, the happier and more content our days become.
See your challenges as a loyal friend who adds flavor to your life.
3. The Best Beauty Secret Is a Stress Free Life
It is THE secret to ‘natural beauty’.
All the thousand-and-one products and 1 hour beauty routines can only do so much! Your skin, your hair, your body, health, everything gets best when you minimize stress.
I had a very stress period in my life and my hair was falling out a lot! And that’s despite oiling it regularly and doing everything I could to care for it! But when that period got over and I got more relaxed, my hair grew healthier and thicker even though I legit stopped oiling and taking care of it at that point.
The same can be said for skin and body.
Oh, and the transition to a stress free, more relaxed life also comes with a sense of improved confidence. And you know what, confidence is one hell of a game changer in the way people see you.
And talking about that, let’s get to the next point.
4. Beauty Is Overhyped
Especially for women! Every ad, and every image showing a “level up” is full of images of women who fit into the conventional beauty standards.
But does beauty really make a woman’s life easier? In the minor day-to-day interactions, yes, but in the long run, no.
Oftentimes, the most beautiful women did not get the fairytale lives that women are taught we’ll get if we strive to become more desirable. Marilyn Monroe died of suicide. Her writings expose the deep misery and sorrow that filled her life. Monica Bellucci and Adrianna Lima were cheated on by their partners. And so was the iconic Princess Diana.
You get the idea…beauty does not guarantee good treatment or love or happiness.
Your time will be much better spent chasing your goals and dreams, becoming happier, than worrying about becoming more beautiful.
5. Selfcare Is Not Avoiding Work. That's Laziness
Now, this one may get a bit of heat.
How many times do you go, “Oh! Maybe I’ll skip the workout today too. I’m just not feeling like it and could use some selfcare…”?
That’s not selfcare. That’s laziness. Happens to all of us, but it’s still laziness. And it will drag you down in life.
Mentally categorizing your own goals as something that is not important enough that it can be skipped “just cuz”, is devaluing yourself. Even if you do it just once, it sends the message that your goals aren’t worth it. That YOU aren’t worth it.
Your self-esteem will erode without you even knowing it. And with it, your confidence will leave too. So don’t do it. Just don’t.
Healthy selfcare is when you incorporate sufficient time for relaxation and entertainment in your daily routine after working on your goals and doing everything you promised yourself you would do. It is holding yourself in such high regard that you would rather fall back on the promise you made to your boss than fall back on the promise you made to yourself. It is being aware and considerate of your own needs, likes and limitations that you don’t make a to-do list that leave you burnt out long term.
Love does not make excuses. When you love yourself, you don’t make excuses to yourself either.
6. Find Time To Be Alone With Yourself And Do Nothing
For most of human history, it was not possible, or expected, for people to be productive every waking moment. Far smaller amount of information was accessible to a person each day. People always had some time every day to just ruminate over their own thoughts.
It is this rumination of thought that gives clarity and direction.
Today, we are bombarded with an endless stream of information and everybody has something to teach you. Sometimes, the amount of information you absorb can be so overwhelming that it stamps out new ideas that could emerge within you. It can also halt your progress because you don’t have time to think through or implement what you learnt. And when you learn a lot and can’t make any of it practical, anxiety sets in.
It can be so easy to get lost in a downward spiral this way.
The human mind can’t just absorb all information at once and start executing everything it has learnt right away. Instead, it needs time to really process the information. It is at this processing stage, that we see different perspectives of an idea. We might notice details that we missed earlier or see excellent opportunities of improvisation.
Moreover, when we are exposed to a new idea or habit that is in contrast with our current reality, our mind initially immediately rejects it. It is with time and rumination that the mind finally adopts it as your own. This has to happen before you can be consistent with the new habit or work on the new idea. Otherwise, it’ll be gone in a few days.
Most importantly, alone time allows you to self-reflect and get in touch with yourself. It brings into clarity what makes you tick, what brings out your passion and what values make you you.
It is essential to find and appreciate yourself amongst the reels and shorts of a million others.
7. Never Underestimate the Power of Sleep
Sleep impacts your ability to learn, to think, to process emotions, to eat healthy, to be disciplined, your health, your immunity…everything.
Did you know that lack of sleep significantly increases your risk of cancer, dementia and virtually any other disease as it weakens you immune system? Now you do.
A minimum of 8 hours of sleep every night is essential to a happy and healthy life. Make a habit of prioritizing sleep, and your older self will thank you.
Factors like surrounding temperature, intake of alcohol, caffeine, exposure to blue light from electronic devices and bright lighting in the room after evening hours can disturb good sleep. Good exercise, soaking in a warm bath before bedtime a consistent sleep routine are known to aid in good sleep.
There is a book called “Why We Sleep”, by Dr. Matthew Walker. I highly recommend it! You’ll never be able to look at sleep the same way again after you read it.
That's It!
I really hope this article gave you something to ruminate over. And I hope you do!
Today, we have endless opportunity to do whatever we want to do. Dream big, trust yourselves. Wishing you the absolute best!